I’ve always thought that my life is incomplete, especially during the Chinese New Year and I met up with relatives – cousins with children they are proud of … and I have none. I always wondered what is taking God so long to bless me with a baby? I never knew His plans for me simply because I often fail to listen to Him … but somehow I know that God knows what is best for me. That is the best reassuring thought I can come up with to overcome my negativity. As I dwell deeper into His word, as I continue to hold on to His presence and to know Him better, God is someone who will never disappoint us. My life may be incomplete in the world’s eyes, but it is always perfect in God’s eyes. Without a baby, I can focus on doing something that I’ve always wanted to do – writing and traveling. Maybe God wanted me to do something that a baby will hinder me from doing it. Maybe God wants me to continue doing missionary work year after year. The world may think that I am not getting any younger and having a baby at a later age will be risky. But if God wants to give me a baby, he will give me a healthy happy baby no matter how old I am! This I want to continue to believe … But as I read today’s message from God, it gives me the reassuring thought that God’s gifts as follows are always the best we can have in our present life in this world:
1) His forgiveness (Romans 3:24) – and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
During the Chinese New Year, the Chinese visit temples to offer their prayers for a good year ahead. Some prayed for money, some prayed for good health, some prayed for happy family and some pray for offsprings. These are all very normal. Everybody would want some blessings in their lives. But how many actually prayed for forgiveness of the sins committed in the past few years? The Chinese believe that by doing good deeds, they will earn their way to heaven and if they did anything bad (getting angry included), they will be doomed to hell. But this are all through our humanly efforts and how much we can we do to earn our way to heaven? And does this mean that everyone is doomed for hell since we aren’t perfect? We get angry all the time because we are emotional. We commit sins/crime that are unforgiveable. We are greedy and jealous by nature. But God sees us as imperfect right from the beginning of Adam’s and Eve’s lives. We are indeed doomed for hell but God gave us a way out – that is through the forgivness of sins in Christ Jesus. Many do not believe that there is someone who is willing to die for our sins and give us a way back to God. But even then, there will be some who believed and then fell back to the temptations of this world and never got back on track. But God loves us nevertheless. He will always want to receive us in his arms. The only way to get back to God is to repent our sins and follow His ways to repentence. We are merely humans … we can never be perfect. We are born to make mistakes and not to fake perfection. Forgiveness and a chance to “live” again in God’s wonderful life is something that we hope to have after we have committing a sin. Many times we fail to get back on track and the only way back to God is through constant prayers and belief that our God can save us through forgiveness. We needed’ pray for it through offerings, we just need to ask and it shall be given unto you.
2) Continual presence
(Heb 13:5) – God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you”
In my previous blog, I talked about overcoming life’s challenges and the only way to do so, is to focus our eyes and have faith and trust in Jesus. Jesus promises us that he will never leave us nor forsake us. Though we may not feel his presence when our our hearts are covered with fears and worries and our minds are full of thoughts on how to overcome them through our humanly efforts. Many times we failed to just trust that Jesus can take care of things for us simply because we are impatient (especially in my case!) I just want to get things sorted out quickly so I can move on with the next task in my plan. I tell you one thing, men may plan his pathways, but God will be the one who directs our steps (Proverbs 16:9). Though I think that my plans will work out, God thinks otherwise. I often get myself into trouble because I always think I am right. But when God intervenes to tell me that I am not, I retaliate. After that, God will reason with me as to why he puts a stop to all my ways. I tend to view that as negative – and I will fall back to my old self of bashing myself up for not doing things right. But as time goes by, I begin to understand my failures. I begin to see that failures may not be something bad all the time. It is a sign that God has planned out something better for me. I’ve been in and out of troubles – you should have read them in my previous posts. But throughout all these troubles, God was there wth me to bring me out from the rumbles and to make me a victor in His eyes. If it wasn’t for all these troubles, I will still be lost! I’ve gained wisdom and I’ve gained faith. But one thing I often lack is my confidence in God. Despite this promise, I always doubt myself. Pray that I will forever be confident in God because He has promised to be there for me in all circumstances. This is one promise that you and I will want to hold on to.
(Romans 15:13) – May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Hope is something that we often thrive to hold on to in times of trial. We often long to see the light at the end of a long dark tunnel which seems to have no end to it. Have you ever had that peace that as you walk in the dark tunnel, you will see the bright shining light at the end of it? What if you don’t? Will you lose hope? There will be times where God will not grant us what we what, will not heal our illnesses as we hoped He will, but God’s will always remain good. When you think that God is not healing you or not giving you anything, what do you do? The most natural thing a human would do is to retaliate and question God constantly. It’s like a hungry cat getting all flustered whenever it is not given any food. I am definitely one of those who would whine and complain till the sky drops down to the earth until at one point, when I don’t get what I wanted, I will just stop naturally. I don’t know how I could come to that stop but I think the hope that the Spirit gives in me overcomes every desires of mine. Hope though may sound very trivial, but it is something that most people hold on to in times of need and hope is one of God’s gift to us as Christians to continue walking down the dark tunnel until we experience the joy and peace in trusting that He will lead us to the bright shining light at the end of the tunnel.
(John 14:27) – Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid
Peace … what peace is there when your heart is torn into pieces and your mind has too much things to think about …I did not experience much peace in the past few weeks resulting in frequent anxiety attacks and sleepless nights. I was worried … overly worried about my current job when my boss leaves. Yes, my boss is deciding to leave her current position as well, my boss and this devastated me for a while. When God brought me to this job, I thought I have the best job … finally, after all the troubles and trials I’ve been through in my previous jobs. My boss is a wonderful boss. She’s caring, understanding yet objective, respectful and practical. How often do you hear people praising their bosses like I do? And yet, our work relationship in this present office has to come to an end. I’ve asked God why, why did he put me in such a good job and then take away the security I’ve enjoyed so much in this job. But I did not realise that I’ve been putting hope into something of this world … which is not what God wants us to do, because this world will disappoint us and cause us to fall in our faith. Our hope should be built on nothing less but Jesus Christ our solid rock. When this situation hit me, I went into frequent anxiety attacks often resulting in breathlessness, sleepless nights and nightmares. I did not realise that I was so fearful of the unknown future. I have been bottling up my stress to hide my fears and worries. I’ve tried to stay focus on the job, but I still felt very insecure and afraid most of the time. I became disorientated and agitated. Every little things irritated me. Due to my anxieties I literally skipped bible study sessions for quite a long while. I could not bring myself to study God’s words. I was so confused and angry that I don’t know how to relate to God anymore. Then you know what … something miraculous happened! God spoke to me! And it was so real that I could not fathom the reality of that. The leader of our bible study group has decided to use Rick Warren’s study on “Everything is Possible with God” which focuses on 6 phases of faith and it comes with a video and a handbook. The 6 phases emphasised in the study are (1) Dream, (2) Decision, (3) Delay, (4) Difficulty, (5) Dead End and (6) Deliverance. I went through all phases and I have no one to thank for but God who has brought me out of all these phases and gave me the strength that I could never thought I could master in this lifetime.
5) Forever future in His presence
1 Thess 4:17 – After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever
Yes, it is truly uplifting to hear that we will be with the Lord forever after life here on earth. As crazy as I may sound, I’ve prayed fervently for the day I can meet the Lord in heaven because I was literally given up on this world. I just want a perfect life free of sorrows, pain and miseries, and heaven is where I wanna be. However, before we could meet the Lord in heaven, we need to do something for Him – that is to spread the news that heaven exists and that He wants to meet ALL of you, YES ALL OF YOU in heave if only ou will accept Him as your Lord and Saviour. I once asked God (when I was doubting myself that I could ever have children to take care of me when I grow old) and He said:
“I will be your God throughout your lifetime— until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you”.
I yearn for nothing less but Jesus Christ and righteousness. I am blessed with these gifts from God, gifts that the world has shunned, gifts that the world thing it is of no material wealth and values. But I think otherwise. They are exactly what we need to sustain us in this world that will soon wither away. We need comfort and salvation and the only person who can give us all these is none other than God …