Blessed New Year 2016

As we come to a close of the year 2015, let us remember how God has been with us throughout the many trying moments of our lives in the year. In 2016, let us press on toward the goal that is ‘heavenward’ and know that God will always be by our side through and through. Let us not lose heart and stay strong amidst the uncertainties that await us next year. May God bless you and your loved ones and thank Him for Him.


How God saved me in my dreams …

Have you ever wondered what your dreams tell you? I am sure many of you have.I always have, but last night, I had my dream interpreted … by God.

It is the moment that I dread most … the moment of emptiness and loneliness. There is a huge void in my soul and I was downcast. I didn’t think that I was going to recover from it … until last night when I had this strange yet amazing dream.

In my dream, I woke up, and I started walking aimlessly around a deserted neighborhood. I remember vividly the neighborhood was a residential area where my friend stays in. It was early in the morning, the sun had not made an appearance yet.

As I walked the roads ahead of me started to change its course. It was completely unfamiliar. I could no longer recognize the roads. I thought of looking my friend up, but it was so early in the morning that I decided to pass that thought. She may not had woken up yet. As I walked, the skies began to grow darker, which is strange as it was almost morning. Where is the sun? Where is the light?

I grew scared. I remembered a church at the residential area. I made my way to the church with the unfamiliar roads ahead of me. Then I came to a small alley with a large puddle of water. I saw two little girls playing in the puddle, hopping, jumping and laughing gaily as they play.

Seeing that there was another road ahead of me, I decided to explore that to see if it led to the church. I jumped across the puddle … phew, made it! I did not get my shoes wet …. or so I thought! As I walked further, there place began to look even more unfamiliar. Moreover, it was dark! I could still hear the girls laughing and playing behind me. I decided not to explore further and made a u-turn back to where I was. This time, instead of jumping across the puddle, I made a dash for it. And to my surprise, my shoes weren’t wet … or so I thought!

Then I made a left turn and started walking. My heart beat faster every second of the time I was in this foreign land. Then I saw the LIGHT. I ran towards the light and I saw a familiar street. At the end of the street was the church! So I walked as fast as I could and suddenly, I realized that I was barefooted. My socks and shoes were indeed wet! And I woke up …

I woke up not feeling scared … but there was a sense of joy and relief. I have been sucked into an undercurrent whirlpool of negativity since 2 days ago. I couldn’t get out. I prayed, but there God seemed distant. I thought I was never going to have a baby in this lifetime. Then another negative thought came to mind. I felt incapacitated with with my ADHD tendencies (yes, I do have ADHD tendencies). I do not know or rather, I could no longer socialize with anyone. I have this deep fear in me whenever I have thoughts of going back to work full-time. What if, I were attacked again? What if, I could not hold back my rage and temper when I am frustrated? Will I make more enemies that I already have in this lifetime? Nobody understands me. Nobody cares to understand my condition. All they ever do is just pass judgment on me and then, abandon me.

These “dark moments” truly haunted me. When I prayed, I could not feel peace. But the Lord is good. Through this dream, I realized that He tried to save me from the darkness I felt in the first part of my dream, and led me to the light in the second part, until I found the church. And I reaffirmed that thought with these two verses I read:

1 John 4:4

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

Psalm 32:8

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

AMEN to God for the hope and light that shine upon all of us with hopelessness. AMEN.

God’s Way is the Best Way … Abide in Him!

This phrase serves as a reminder to myself, that I ought not to doubt God but to fully trust in Him for His ways are higher than mine. In the past few weeks, I realized I’ve been battling the thoughts of wanting to keep things the way they were and not change but I was terribly ignorant of the fact that God has engineered my circumstance for my own good. I fail to see this goodness of His.  Yet, He remains the loving God that we all know Him to be.

“In moments when we don’t understand God’s ways, we need to trust His unchanging character: God is a God of justice, mercy, and truth (Ps. 89:14)” –

John 15:5-8

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will[a] ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

1 Peter 1:3-9

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen[a] you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.

Isaiah 30:18

Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you;
And therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you.
For the Lord is a God of justice;
Blessed are all those who wait for Him.

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

An unknown ‘underwater whirlpool’: Going through spiritual confusion …

Three weeks have passed since I lost my baby. God has healed my pain, but I continue to remain spiritually confused, still asking lots of ‘why’ questions. Most often these ‘whys’ are not even related to my miscarriage. As I reflect back on my life, I continued to dwell on my suffering instead of what God has done for me. It’s a blasphemy! I’ve failed God … again!

Many of us tend to want the best of things in our lives – good marriage, children, wealth, health, you know name it. And many of us choose to live a life of denial – posting only happy moments on Facebook (or rather pretending to be happy ones) instead of facing adversaries heads on. Whenever you post something you are troubled with, you are deemed as negative and this label will be stuck on to you for the rest of your life, even though you’ve changed in between.

God doesn’t want us to be like that. Doesn’t want ME to be like that. I’ve been in the underwater whirlpool unknowingly for the umpteenth time, yet I have not gotten out of it. But in spite of my confusion and my rebellion, God continues to remain faithful to me. Sometimes I feel so guilty that a God so great is faithful to me whereas I as His follower fail to do so repeatedly.

God said many times in His Word – “Trust the LORD with ALL your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him [or submit to Him] and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

It is not a matter of right and wrong, but a matter of God taking you through a way that you temporarily do not understand. And it is only by going through spiritual confusion that you will come to the understanding of what God wants for you … If all you see is a shadow on the face of the Father right now, hang on to the fact that He will ultimately give you clear understanding and will fully justify Himself in everything that He has allowed in your life … Stand firm in faith, believing that what Jesus said is true, although in the meantime you do not understand what God is doing. He has bigger issues at stake than the particular things you are asking of Him right now.

(Oswald Chambers, 12 Sept 2015)

Luke 11:11-13

If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?

In my current spiritual confusion, do I still trust God and hang on to Him? I wish I could answer yes because my yes seems vague and I am not sure if my words are in sync with my heart. Only God knows. Will He find the kind of faith that counts On Him in spite of the confusion? Dear Lord, I hope You are delighted in me. I pray O Lord that You do … Amen.

The Ugliness of Being Misunderstood …

Being misunderstood is a terrible feeling, especially when it is for the wrong reasons …

I don’t know how many times I have been misunderstood for my good intentions … to the point where I do not know how to treat people right anymore. My every actions and decisions tend to put me in jeopardy in my relationship with others. Sometimes, I wish I don’t have to care what others think of me, thinking that someday, they will understand me … whether or not they do or they will is another matter altogether.

And being misunderstood without the opportunity to explain yourself, hurts even more. Especially when the misunderstanding comes from trusted people, whom you trust to know you better than the hearsay of others. Being misunderstood leads to loneliness. The though that there is no one on earth that can be trusted. We reject people because of loneliness which throws us into deeper pits of despair. And when we are down there, it is indeed very hard to get up again. It takes tears, brokenness, sorrow, suffering and a whole lot of prayers for repentance to get on our feet. Satan takes this oppportunity to drag you down further, further away from God.

I find it rather amusing that people prefer to listen to grapevines or the opinion of others about you without verifying them with you, than to hear the truth from your own words. Does this mean they can’t even trust you? Does this mean they view your words as words of denial of the truth of the matter?

Truth is, in this world people prefer taking sides for those who can provide the “juiciest” stories that are pleasing to their ears. How many out there who would stand up for you, stand up for the truth at the cost of their lives and careers? Not many. Some would not even stand up for you just to look good to other people, or they would rather believe that you are with the problem instead.

This feeling sucks. Is this a way of God building our faiths and strengthening our relationship with Him? To let us know that human relationships are not what we should rely on to live?

I’ve come to the conclusion that the answers for the questions above are a resounding YES.

To those who are feeling misunderstood today, the feeling of loneliness follow suit. But do not allow that to destroy faith in love. The world cannot give you love, but God can. Even if you have been betrayed, continue loving God. Because by loving God gives you hope to live again, to love again.

Being misunderstood does not necessarily destroy all hopes of knowing people, of forging new friendships. It gives us more hope that we can depend on our Lord to see us through till the day all misunderstanding will end in heaven.

The power of TRUST (the message continues)….

Truly God is greater ….

I received yet another message that God has placed me where I am supposed to be … and that is my current situation, my current workplace, my life … This sentence from GDW speaks about my situation:

It’s safe to say that all of us, at different times during our walk with the Lord, feel like we have been sent far away and locked up. We feel distanced from God and unable to change our circumstances. Others seem to be controlling our every move and we sink into a deep despair.

I have allowed many humans to control my walk with God. I have allowed their words to matter more than God’s words for me. And I feel trapped. I asked why …. why am I treated this way …. but God says ” I have something better for you”.

But is it possible God is much closer than we think? “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Is it possible He is working (even now!) this terrible situation toward the good? “In all things God works for the good of those who love Him” (Romans 8:28). And is it possible that in the middle of our “prison” God has much work for us to do?

In my despair, God just simply say I will never leave you nor forsake you.

No matter what this day brings – no matter how trapped we feel – we must keep looking for God’s good and trusting that His plan is unfolding. He is using our circumstances to mold us and draw us close to His side; and He is using our testimony of faith to encourage others to love Him more. We must believe that, even in the middle of our prison, God is in control and we are right where He wants us!